I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Drake has all the answers
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
