His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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