Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
