Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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