was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
