Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
