I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize