what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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