problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
