Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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