She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
