At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
