Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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