I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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