don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
then he tried to convert me to islam
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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