if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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