I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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