Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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