im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
