i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
ugly people sure do ruin things
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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