booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
