Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
