I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
