I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
