oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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