so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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