Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way