Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
