What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed