I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka