But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck