Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Randomize
