it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
3 2 1 whiskey
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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