ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
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I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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