Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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