We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
so much tequila, so little girl.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
