I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
