WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize