Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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