just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Found the puke drawer
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
