problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
