Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
