i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
