So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
