i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
