I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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