Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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