just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
