THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
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I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
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the liver wants what the liver wants
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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