there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
