Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
