$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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