Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
