Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
