I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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