I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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