Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
