u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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