I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
