sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
