so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
