omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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