Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
