with your own penis?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
