Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
