where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
where are you?
Hypothermia
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
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