Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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