i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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