meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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