Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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