Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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