why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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