Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
