Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
